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15 January 2011 @ 11:05 pm

I am super excited right now- I think I am going to try my hand at programming. I have gotten into a medical school (woohoo!!), and although I have to wait until march-ish for the rest of my schools, I am happy that I got in SOMEWHERE, considering my situation.

Unfortunately, though, it is slowly becoming painfully obvious that I might have to wait another year before going back to school. Now, if this was last year and I was in this situation, I would have been very, very upset (it's a good thing it's not last year, right?). I'm still a little upset now, but it's more because of a feeling of getting old than unhappiness with my life. Getting a new job where people appreciate/actually like me, and moving back home has done wonders for my state of mind.

However, now that I've gotten into school, a lot of the pressure that was in my life (a lot of it self inflicted but still!) has evaporated. Now all the time I used to spend obsessing over OMGZ, WHAT I AM DOING WITH MY LIFE??? is gone. This is great, but I honestly had no idea I spent so much time thinking about my future (and so depressingly at that)!

I have nothing to do with all of this free mental space, and although I love my job, it can be a bit boring- I haven't done anything remotely mentally challenging in a looooooong time. Hence the decision to program.

We'll see how it works out (besides, how else am I going to make my bajillions of dollars?)

Current Mood: chipperchipper
07 August 2010 @ 08:56 am

I cannot wait to quit at the end of August, this day can't come fast enough. I thought I would be relieved, but now I am even more stressed out!

Apparently one of the doctors that works with the company overheard something about a "penalty" on my contract (which IS RIDICULOUS), and since she thinks I am awesome (she wrote me a recommendation letter for medical school), she facebook messaged that something may be up.

I am really really glad that she emailed me because if they are going to charge for some nonexistent penalty, I wasn't sure that they were going to tell me about it on time for me to do anything about it.

Now I have to wait until Monday to see if anyone replies to any of my emails/texts, but if no one does, I have to call the office and get on somebody's case, because this little Indian Chickadee is NOT paying them an extra penny EVERRRRRRRR.

I cannot wait to be back in NEW YORK and honestly, I just want to go back to school :(
Current Mood: aggravatedaggravated
17 May 2010 @ 08:03 pm

Me and Craig Ferguson are going to be in the same room on June 24th. That studio is going to burn up from all the unrequited sexual tension!!

Of course, it will all be from me, but still :D

Current Mood: ecstaticecstatic
17 January 2010 @ 02:24 am
So guys, remember when I was whining and lamenting a lack of focus or fulfillment in life? Well, I'm still not sure what exactly I want to do for the rest of my life, but I think this article I ran across in National Geographic may point me in the right direction!


This field just looks absolutely stunning! I think I might take the GRE's and see if I can actually find a way to pursue something like this.
Current Mood: hopefulhopeful
02 January 2010 @ 01:10 am
Hi guys!

So I JUST finished reading Persuasion by the ever lovely Jane Austen and I have to say that I am appreciating on a level that is completely different from her other books. I of course still love Pride and Prejudice and it will always be my favorite of Austen's works (like practically everybody else, lol), but I feel as though Austen is exploring a different aspect of falling in love in this particular book. First off, her heroine in this book is almost ancient by Victorian standards, and does not have the lively personalities of most of her other heroines. Also, Anne falls in love with someone who is not a gentleman, but who made his money and fortune the old fashioned way (i.e., he wasn't born into it). In fact, on the whole, Austen pretty much hates on the "noble and wealthy" of high society, and everyone who prides the company of such society and manners is generally proved to be foolish, or at the very least wrong in their impressions. Instead, she places much of the virtues of character and personality on Anne, the Navy, and the Musgroves (country mannered people). All in all, I found this novel to be a bit of stepping away from Austen's other books and liked its tone and exposition very much.

I wonder what some other Austen fans think?
Current Mood: relaxedrelaxed
29 December 2009 @ 10:59 pm
Where has all of my passion gone? Come to think of it, did I ever even have any?

I'm in the middle of watching Julie and Julia and although it's a lovely movie, it's made me realize one absolute truth in my life- I have nothing that I want to spend the rest of my life doing.

That's not to say I don't want to find something I want to spend the rest of my life doing; I just don't have any idea about how to go about it! I'm applying for medical school right now, and that's only because I enjoy surgery, but is that really what I want to be doing forever (presuming of course, that I actually get in)? I'm beginning to doubt that I really enjoy as much as I like to convince myself that I have to enjoy it. And this is only because that's what my parents always wanted me to do (which they are now renegading on!!!).

I'm lucky enough to have come to a point in my life where I know that I could survive in this cold, harsh world without the help of anyone else. After a lifetime of uncertainty and fear about future prospects, that kind of security is extremely gratifying and I know how fortunate I am to be here. But I'm also incredibly lonely and feel oddly bereft of some important unknown aspect of myself.

I feel like I'm lost, but I don't know what I'm supposed to be headed for, or if it's something in particular I am supposed to achieve. I feel as though finding this unknown part of myself, something that makes my existence worth it to myself (does that even make sense?), is the key to my own self-acceptance and sense of self. And once that occurs, I can only hope that I can allow someone else into my life as well. I do believe that I can't really successfully be with anyone else until I find my own path.

My whole life, I have followed the straight and narrow, and although I didn't like it, I knew it was the only way to a decent life. But is a decent life necessarily a happy one? From this side of the grass, it certainly doesn't look like it. I want to find something to be passionate about, something to get excited about in the morning. But I feel like I missed the boat on that- I have no idea what makes me happy anymore, I have no idea where to begin! I am ready to take a big risk for my own sake, but I have nothing worth risking everything for yet.

Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
10 December 2009 @ 08:55 pm
Stole from lostarkeo!

This literally made me lol in public :)

Young man, there's no need to feel luckydicelost.

Which song was this lyric from?

Get your own lyrics:
12 October 2009 @ 03:37 pm
It's been a while since I wrote in this!

So I just got my MCAT scores and I didn't do as well as I was hoping, but I think I'm okay with it. I think even a couple of weeks ago, I would have been devastated, but now I'm kinda like eh, it's not the end of the world. At least that's what I'm trying to convince myself of. ;P

I am however going to try to keep applying to schools, I already paid the initial fee and my score is still pretty okay so there's still a chance that I might get into a school I really want to go to.

I just found this new program at Columbia (god I wish I could get in) that is right up my alley, and because it's brand new they are granting each person who gets into the program 30,000 dollars per year regardless of financial aid or anything like that!!!!!!!!

Man, oh man, I hope that works out in my favor.

Otherwise, I've been weighing my options, and if Med School doesn't work out, there are a lot of other things I can go into (maybe math?), so maybe I shouldn't sweat it so much.

I just want to be back in NY, lol.

This post is random, and I apologize to the three people who actually read this journal.
Current Mood: anxiousanxious
15 August 2009 @ 04:34 pm
I miss being around people who are as dorktastic as I am?

Is it too much to ask for a adorkable nerd friend?
Current Mood: indescribableindescribable